Workshop: J. S. Bach, St. John Passion

A two-day musicking workshop that was intended as a space for experimentation, not a rehearsal for a concert, though we presented a public performance at Alton Priors, Wiltshire a month later. We invited a group of musicians (professionals and students) to join us in exploring how we might be in our musical bodies. There was no conductor and no choreography, only an invitation to be porous, supported by some historical quotes and images to get the juices flowing; an invitation to be traversed by musical flows and to move when you feel moved.

Selected participant feedback:

A truly transformational experience which I will treasure for the rest of my performing career.

I found myself singing and hearing one of the pieces that I’ve performed most in my life very differently. Not because of any sudden new meaning or instruction, but I think because I have rarely felt so free whilst “performing,” and in the moment being free to move and feel meant being free to react, without things feeling contrived or “staged.” The result for me was something that felt so immediate, so engaging, but I don’t think at all self-indulgent, because it really felt I was part of this body that we all became. … I can honestly say that I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. I’ve never felt emotions so close to the surface while performing. I was on the verge of tears so many times during our run-through, and a bit of a wreck at the end really. This is the bit that I find hardest to explain without resorting to clichés or stock phrases, but then I think we all felt something indescribable in that room. I can say that I don’t think I’ve ever felt in such close proximity to the music itself, and that for weeks afterwards I couldn’t stop telling people about it, and that it’s been on my mind ever since.

It was I suppose a catharsis, or an exercising of some emotional and bodily tensions that after being so crushed and squeezed by the intensity of the musical experience left me feeling both relaxed but also centred. It in other words felt like going through a therapy session. It was a truly life changing experience. It forced me to confront some emotions that were far stronger than I had imagined, and I suspect where not entirely ones I were comfortable feeling. It brought a much more physical kind of listening in which I felt the mental engagement and mediating I often experience when listening was bypassed, allowing for a more physically emotional response. It has changed not only the way I see the John passion, but also the concert experience. I have no idea how, but I suspect the world would be a better place if all concerts could allow me to feel even a small part of what I did after this project.

[It was the historical information] that allowed for this collective embodied knowledge to come together; it forms the route to finding these things together, things that maybe are already there but needed permission to be explored.

I’d never experienced music making quite like this week. The sincerity of connection I felt between the musicians was extraordinary, even though I was meeting many of them for the first time… there was an openness and honesty of performance that just doesn’t feel possible in more conventional performances. 

One particularly striking moment for me was when singers stood right in front of me, “blocking” my view of the rest of the ensemble. I suddenly realized how much I rely on visual contact – especially with you, Maggie – and I was briefly unsettled. But then something shifted. It was so liberating to realize that the ensemble was so connected, so in tune with one another, that there was only one possible moment for the next note to happen. It made me feel how an ensemble can become one organism – not just a group of people making music at the same time. 

Apologies for dashing off afterwards. I didn’t really know where to put myself as I feel I’d experienced something beyond words. … You hit the nail on the head with your comments about the sharing of love and humanity. That’s really what it all boils down to. Whether it’s a deeply religious feeling or a musical connection I wish all humans the chance to experience this richness. I believe it is possible that this exists for us all. I just feel so lucky that I get to experience it in my workplace. What a blessing!

I’ve just experimented with my pupils. I ran a double bass sectional [rehearsing Mahler’s Fifth Symphony] and asked them to be open to the idea of how they experienced each other’s bodies, movements, breaths, and how they could pass information down the section through this … I think they all thought I’d lost the plot, but the result was a new sound of togetherness and listening.

I honestly find it hard to put into words what an extraordinary experience it was, but I’ll try my best. It felt as if I were discovering the St John Passion all over again, with the excitement and wonder of a child. To do so hand in hand with some of the finest performers of this music in the UK (and perhaps the world), who themselves seemed to be rediscovering it alongside us, was truly an honour. There were so many moments of pure beauty, of deep emotional and spiritual connection. It’s remarkable how far music can reach, emotionally and spiritually, when artists are given a safe space where they are allowed to truly embody what they are performing, and have the freedom to prioritise expression over perfection (whatever that means) - it really changes everything. The music comes alive in a completely different way from what we often hear in the standard concert setting.    Thank you again for making this possible. It’s an experience I’ll carry with me for a long time.

I keep saying to myself … that I’ll carry what we did forward with me. I’ve not often been so aware of the memory of the body as well as the mind, and recollections come back very vividly which is rarely the case in more conventional settings. I feel incredibly fortunate to have somehow been in the right place at the right time and been involved in this unforgettably enriching and inspiring process. 

This project showed me what can happen when musicians let their bodies and instruments follow their feelings completely, and it was life changing.. it was the most engaging and moving musical occurrence I’ve ever been part of. 

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